Signs of Emotional Abuse

Abusive Expectations

• Makes unreasonable demands.
• Requires constant attention, or that you spend all your free time with him/her.
• Constantly criticizes. Nothing you ever do is right.
• No matter how much you give, it never seems to be enough.

Aggressing

• Calls you names, accuses, blames, threatens, or gives orders.
• Can be disguised as “helping” or “teaching.”
• Judgmental “I know best” attitude.

Constant Chaos

• Deliberately starts arguments and may be in constant conflict with you or with others
• Treats you well in front of others, but changes into a different person when you’re alone together, or vice a versa.
• May enjoy “drama,” because it creates excitement and brings the focus back onto him/herself.

Denying

• Denies your personal needs, especially when that need is greatest, and does so with the intent of hurting, punishing, or humiliating you.
• Denies that certain events occurred or that certain things were said.
• Refuses to listen or communicate (silent treatment), and withdraws emotionally.
• Denies your perceptions, memory, and sanity.
• Disallows or overrules any viewpoints, perceptions, or feelings that differ from his/her own.
• Causes you to lose confidence in and question your own perceptions and feelings.
• Causes you to doubt your most powerful survival tool: your own mind.

Dominating

• Manipulates the relationship so that the only feelings and opinions that count are his/her own.
• Must have his/her own way, and will hurt your feelings if necessary in order to get it.
• Holds you personally responsible for his/her own happiness.
• Disregards your personal standards or beliefs, and may try to persuade you to do things that you don’t want to do.

Emotional Blackmail

• Plays on your fear, guilt, compassion, religious values, or other “hot buttons” to get what he/she wants.
• May threaten to end the relationship, totally reject or abandon you, give you the “cold shoulder,” or use other tactics to control you.