A Dom, is a Dom, is a Dom

by InternationalD

(c) June 2013 All rights reserved ~ This article is the sole intellectual property of the author and CAN NOT be reprinted any any format without the express written permission of the author.

The original of this article and comments can be direct to the author via Fetlife at:  https://fetlife.com/users/2166817/posts/1619035

There’s an issue I see far too frequently that causes so many problems. It’s about what makes a Dom, a Dom.

I’m not going to go off about rules of thumb or guidelines. My main issue is the idea that a Dom needs a sub.

Just as your sexual orientation isn’t defined by your relationship status, me being a Dom isn’t defined by who is subbing for me.

This idea that a Dom isn’t a Dom without a sub causes many issues so please allow me to express my take on my two big issues.

Lets get the bigger most public issue out there for you subs and even others who have had those wannabe “doms” who clamber or snarl at you. To all you wannabe “doms” as I will refer to you. The reason you are ordering people around that aren’t yours is because you feel you aren’t a Dom without someone to serve you. Let me say this is not true, even with someone submitting to you you’re still not a Dom. Your mindset that you need someone to make you what you should already be is the flaw in who you aspire to become. Leave people alone and stop pressuring them to give you self worth.

Next, to all you rude subs out there nodding at my previous comments. I don’t (nor any other true Dom) need you to make me a Dom. That means those comments such as “you couldn’t handle me”, “I’m not yours” or “I would never submit to you” are not needed unless you are asked to submit or it is implied in a serious manner. I am very serious in the right moments as I hope many can agree with but, in other moments I like to tease and flirt with no agenda or hidden intent. Consequently when your blunt rudeness is met with comments on your behavior this doesn’t prove your point or mean that a Dom is throwing a fit like other “doms” have in your past.

I understand the pressure and harassment subs receive (especially females). I understand that you have wanna be “doms” say things to you, you retaliate, then they get upset. What I’d like you all to keep in mind is this can either be a “dom” that feels he needs you to make him a Dom and when you are rude to him he lashes out or, it’s a Dom being himself and when YOU are rude to him he comments on it.

Make sure you know the difference because I don’t need a sub to make me a Dom and my apologies go out to all women who have had to deal with these “doms”. Especially if its made you jaded.

I can’t speak for subs, but don’t rush. Find the right Dom for you. You are a sub even if you don’t have a Dom.